Introduction

Mom's version of how I joined the family:
"One morning in August 2010 I received a phone call from my mother while I was sleeping. She'd found an emaciated, sick Tortoiseshell kitten in the parking lot of a local gas station and couldn't catch the little beast herself. She feared that the kitten would get killed in the road or die from starvation, so she wanted me to come catch her. A broom, a whole lot of patience, and a half hour of my time was what it took to finally catch her.

After I'd taken her to the vet, I came to find out that she was such a little sweetheart. Our plan had been to capture her, get her healthy, and then rehome her, but when she snuggled up against me I knew I couldn't give her up. I'm glad that I told my mom I wasn't going to rehome the little brat. She's my silly little monster and I adore her."


My version:
"I'd been recently split up from my mother and had wandered over towards an area of land that wasn't the usual dirt and grass that I was used to. I didn't have any idea what these ugly creatures were that kept coming and going, but one thing I did know was that I was terrified of them. I kept my distance and hid from them, but somebody did spot me. One creature set out a bowl of mouth-watering wet food and a bowl of water for me, and I devoured all that my little stomach could handle. 

I wasn't aware of how skinny or sick I was, but this creature, which I later figured out are called humans, noticed it and called another creature to try to capture me. There was no way that I was going to let this weird looking thing get close to me, so I gave her a run for her money. She tried just about everything. Tempting me with treats and food, string, etc. It didn't take her very long to figure out that I wasn't going to give in that easily. I ended up hiding under a giant cylinder object to keep away from her. 

She was a smart one, though. She wasn't going to give up either. She tried to scare me out with a broom, but every time I'd just go to the other end and this went on and on for minutes. Finally I was too exhausted to keep pacing back and forth, so I darted from under it, went through a fence, and hid in the neighboring yard. A car in a driveway made the perfect hiding spot... until she came after me again. I was so tired and it was so difficult to keep my eyes open. All I wanted to do was sleep, but with this thing going after me I couldn't figure out how I'd be able to cope. Involuntarily, my eyes closed and I didn't see the creature's arm inching towards me. In one unfair snatch, she grabbed me by the scruff and pulled me out from underneath the car. 


I was put into a plastic box and carted away like a prisoner. She took me back to her lair and I was sure she was going to eat me. I was very surprised that she put more of that yummy wet food in front of me as well as a bowl of water, and then completely left the room. I ate most of the food, drank some water, and then fell fast asleep for a few hours, but I was disturbed again. She took me to another unfamiliar building, but this one had more creatures and they brought me out of the cage. They started rubbing my ears and face. It was total bliss. I rolled over on my back for them to rub my bloated little tummy and enjoyed the attention that I was getting. These creatures weren't so bad after all!

I was returned to my captor's lair and released from the plastic box, but this time I didn't shy away. Instead I cuddled with her and received more glorious attention. I gave her a look that told her that she needed to be wrapped around my little paw or else she'd suffer the consequences. They haven't tried to get rid of me yet!"